#ohmygodwhatisgoingoni’msolost

April 14, 2011

As I settled into a cushy seat somewhere in the secret bowels of the Lightbox for a press screening today, I found myself unwittingly caught in the middle of a twitter triangle.

“We’re friends on Twitter,” the young woman next to me said to the man behind us before reminding him of her username.

They chatted for a minute, and then the woman on the other side joined in. “I guess I should say that we’re friends on on Twitter, too,” she said, adding her username to the mix.

“Oh…” said the man.

“What does ‘oh’ mean?” she laughed. “Is it what I said about the [name of forthcoming film] screening this morning?”

Then the two women launched into a spirited and animated conversation about said film while I sat in between them, feeling awkward and maudlin.

I wasn’t exactly good at networking before the advent of Twitter, but I feel even more behind now that the social networking tool has sunk its superficial, short-winded claws into the entertainment journalism world.

I do not understand Twitter. I have an account. I had a little fun fucking around on there when I first started, but I couldn’t keep up with it for more than a week. I try to go back from time to time, but I find the whole exercise exhausting.

First of all, I can’t say anything in 140 characters. I can barely express myself in 140 words. Brevity never has been my friend, and I’m not interested in a reconciliation any time soon.

Most importantly, though, I just cannot keep up. I have absolutely no effing clue how people manage to follow hundreds of other people, tweet their every thoughts, retweet everyone else’s thoughts, keep on top of trends and share all sorts of weird and wonderful links to other things. Every time I try to jump into that mess, I wind up having a Kanye-level “EVERYTHING IS NOISE! EVERYTHING IS NOISE!” freakout.

By the time I’ve read and digested something, and decided that I might want to respond, I’m already five tweets behind. It’s the only form of social media I’ve used that actually makes me appear less socially adept than I am in real life.

My knee-jerk reaction is to blame this issue on the autism, but I suspect that it could just as easily be on account of the fact that I am crotchety and prematurely old.

So, what do you think, all six or so of my dear readers? Is Twitter a generational thing, or a social skill thing?

I guess what I’m really asking is, who is it that I should be shooing from my hypothetical lawn: the kids, or the neurotypicals?

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3 Responses to “#ohmygodwhatisgoingoni’msolost”

  1. Michele Says:

    I have a Twitter account (ms_marques). I don’t worry about trying to keep up with everyone and just find what works for me. Mostly, I spend some time with Twitter in the morning. I check the past50 – 100 Tweets. Reply or RT to some Tweets, if they spark something. Favorite links that I want to check later. And then I go to my6sense to find a link or two to share. I cross-post links to my blog posts. And I find Twitter really helpful for finding links for my pro blog.

    The only time I’m really having a conversation on Twitter is when there’s a scheduled conversation (held via a hashtag). Otherwise it’s just some brief snippets of interaction.

  2. Kate Says:

    I agree. Twitter is also where I put my brain vomit because I expect people to cruise on by for the most part.


  3. That’s a relief! It takes some of the pressure off to know that other people don’t necessarily expect twitter to be perfectly reciprocal. The brain vomit part I can deal with! I’m good at that.


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