An Open Letter To My Dork Passenger

September 6, 2011

Dear Dork Passenger,


I’ve been struggling to come up with the right way to put this to you. I don’t want you to think that I don’t appreciate your visit. It really is good to see you again and it’s been far too long since we really spent any quality time together. So I hate to even have to ask you this, but… could we cool it a little bit?


I know why you showed up when you did. You saw that I was stressed, overloaded and overwhelmed and you wanted to give me some much needed comfort and routine. But the problem is that the stressful period isn’t over quite yet. I might have a film festival to cover and your current insatiable need for Top Gear might not be practical for the next week and a half.


Please don’t be offended, and please don’t go away. It’s been such a long two years since we had all of that fun with Oz, and I’ve really missed you. Besides, I really think you’ll enjoy some of the stuff I have lined up.


Take tomorrow, for instance. I’ve got a real treat lined up for us: a screening of David Cronenberg’s new film. It’s called A Dangerous Method and it’s a psychological drama about two men whose complex relationship is forever changed when a woman comes between them. Are you excited yet?


If not, then check out this poster.

Holy crap, I am so freaking excited about this.


It looks familiar, doesn’t it?

Seriously, I am peeing myself over this.


I know you must be a little giddy. Remember when I was seventeen and we spent all of our time watching Dead Ringers over and over again? Remember how amazing it was when we finally got our hands on the out-of-print Criterion edition on DVD? Remember how you convinced me to write a seventeen-page essay about it for my grade twelve film class? Good times.


And if that’s a complete bust, we can always grab one of Richard Hammond’s books and read it in between screenings next week.





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